Stop Downplaying Yourself: Learning to Own Your Strengths

There is something I've noticed about women.

We can often tell another woman exactly what makes her special.

We'll encourage her.

We'll remind her how strong she is.

We'll tell her she deserves more.

But when someone turns that same attention toward us, suddenly we become uncomfortable.

“Oh, I'm nothing special.”

“Anybody could have done it.”

“I just got lucky.”

We shrink our accomplishments before anyone else gets the opportunity to acknowledge them.

Humility Doesn't Require Hiding

Somewhere along the way, many of us learned that acknowledging our strengths meant we were bragging.

But humility and self-confidence can exist together.

You can recognize that you're talented without believing you're better than everyone else.

You can be proud of something you've accomplished while still appreciating the people who helped you.

You can acknowledge your growth without pretending you have everything figured out.

Confidence doesn't have to be loud.

Sometimes confidence simply sounds like:

“Yes, I'm good at this.”

Think About What You've Already Overcome

Some of your greatest strengths may not appear on a résumé.

Maybe you've learned how to remain calm during difficult situations.

Maybe you've raised children while juggling responsibilities nobody else saw.

Maybe you've started again after disappointment.

Maybe you've spent years caring for other people.

Maybe you've learned how to communicate, organize, lead, encourage, create, teach, or solve problems.

Those experiences developed something in you.

Don't dismiss them simply because nobody handed you a certificate for them.

Your Strengths May Point Toward Your Purpose

Pay attention to the things people consistently come to you for.

What do they ask your advice about?

What do people say you make look easy?

What problems do you naturally know how to solve?

What could you talk about for an hour without preparation?

Those aren't always random abilities.

Sometimes they're clues.

And one of those clues could lead toward a business, a ministry, a new career, a book, a workshop, a community, or simply a deeper understanding of who you are.

Try This Exercise

Take out a piece of paper and finish these three sentences:

People often come to me when they need help with __________.

Something I do naturally well is __________.

One thing I've learned through my life experiences that could help another woman is __________.

Then read your answers.

Don't minimize them.

Don't explain them away.

Just notice what you've written.

Because maybe the next chapter of your life doesn't require becoming someone completely different.

Maybe part of moving forward is finally recognizing the woman who's already there.

You don't have to make yourself smaller.

Own your strengths. Use your voice. And give yourself permission to see the value you bring.

— Camille
Unstuck With Camille